Noreen Goes Mental

A short story that I just came up with. May or may not be very loosely based on a (true) family tale of mine...Please don't take it too seriously.

“Noreen, don’t do this, don’t do that…you are but a lass…you are too unstable…” I grumble to myself. Over and over again. Faith! That’s all I hear. It’s all about my spoiled brother Kelly, who got his own steam-powered airship for his birthday, and plans to sign on as apprentice to an adventurer in a few months. He says he can’t wait to get out of Boston and see the world. Well, guess what? Tonight I’m going to prove to them that poor, insane Noreen can make her own life as well. The sun is setting and the house is quiet and dark. Mam and Da are away at the cabaret and Kelly has flown off in his airship, probably to pick up girls, all leaving me, poor, insane Noreen alone in the house, as they always do. I light my lamp and reach under my bed for what I’ve stashed away for this very occasion. First I grab my knife-which they have constantly attempted to confiscate from me several times as I am “too unstable” to have one, but I always end up snitching it back-and use it to rip a good several inches off of my skirt and petticoats. Throwing off the bloody wretched hoops and corset-I could never draw a breath in that fecking thing-I also made sure to make waste to my sleeves as well. Standing in front of my looking glass, I smirk at how good I look with my shorter skirts and sleeves, and without the bloody hoops. I put my long auburn hair back in a long ponytail. I place my steam goggles on top of my head, and place my cuff with the bronze gears on my arm. Last, but definitely not least, I grab my steam blaster pistol. (They don’t know that I have that either.) I’m ready. Boston and the rest of the world won’t know what hit them. Stealing quietly out of the house, I creep down the dark streets. The faint hum of gears and the sound of steam-powered airships overhead echo in the background. I glide through the shadows until I reach the dodgy pub where the airship pirates congregate. They’re there, all right. I can instantly tell the pirates at the table they’re sitting at. I’m not afraid. Boldly I approach their table. The captain notices me approaching. 
“And who might you be, lass?” “Noreen O’Dowd. I wish to join your crew, Captain.” The table erupts with laughter. I stand my ground. The captain leers at me. He stands and takes my hand. “Well, Noreen O’Dowd, I am Captain Robert. If you wish to join my crew, I challenge you to a duel…” I cut him off. “So be it, Captain. Outside. Right now.” He obviously thinks I’ll be easy. I just may surprise him. We head outside. The captain and I walk several feet apart, and then turn and face off. We each draw our steam blaster pistols at the same time. He shoots, and I quickly dodge. I shoot and it misses. “I’m just going easy on ye,” I growl. And with that, I shoot him through the heart. I don’t even know how I do it, or how it happens. I stand over him. “Captain, you’ve met your match.” I say. The captain coughs up blood. “Take my ship…you…are the new captain,” he moans, and then falls still. I giggle hysterically, looking up to see the rest of the crew watching in mute silence. “Your captain is dead!” I cry. “I killed him. Who wishes to raid alongside me, Noreen O’Dowd, as your new captain!” A few more moments of silence, and then the crew of airship pirates breaks into cheers. Turns out Captain Robert wasn’t popular among his crew. They were planning to mutiny against him when I came along, and spared them that decision. I board the airship along with my crew. I turn the ignition, and the engine roars to life and rises into the sky. I pull my steam goggles over my eyes and giggle with the excitement and joy of freedom. And then, after a simple few minutes of soaring through the skies, I cannot believe my eyes. It was my brother Kelly in his airship! Jesus, Mary and Joseph, this was too good to be true. Time to have some fun. I pull up alongside him. He glances over from the cockpit. He realizes that we’re a pirate ship, but of course doesn’t realize that his poor, crazy sister is the captain. He guns the ignition-he was always a coward-and attempts to speed off, but I’m right on his tail. Finally, I deliberately ram into the back of his airship. Several times. The crew is cheering, and my brother is screaming like a little girl. Finally, his ship begins to fall. I see Kelly parachuting out at the last possible moment. He doesn’t land right and breaks his leg. I debate landing the ship and going down to torment him on the ground…and reveal myself to him as his poor, insane sister, but then decide against it. I’m an airship pirate captain now, and we’ve got better things to do. Like duels and raiding another airships and shite. I look back at the rest of my cheering crew. They love me already, I can tell. Finally I’ve got recognition. Finally I’ve got respect. And you know what? I love my crew as well.